william walter purrbody (my billy mew)

billy and his brother jack were orphaned before they were a week old.  my aunt kathryn was bottle feeding the two of them along with their three other littermates when i came to visit her one day in august 2005.  i took billy and jack home with me that day and bottle fed them until they were old enough to eat solid food.  we've spent the last 13+ years together.
on wednesday billy was badly injured by another animal (likely a bobcat). he spent all day yesterday at the local veterinary clinic being treated.  the worst of billy's injuries were inaccessible and after doing everything possible for him the vet released billy and we brought him home late in the day yesterday.  although he had improved a little during the day he began to decline fairly quickly last evening.  i had set up a little hospital for him near the wood stove so he'd be warm.  by about 8:30-9pm he began meowing.  i comforted him and he settled down and i thought he would be able to sleep for a while so i left him and got into bed myself.  after a few minutes he began meowing again so i got up and went to check on him.  it was clear then that he was dying and asking me to stay with him and see him on his way.  so i did.  staal brought me a pad to put on the floor next to billy's bedding.  i lay my hand gently on his shoulder and stroked him softly when he seemed to need it.  i told him i loved him and what an amazing cat he was.  i thanked him.  i told him it was okay to go now, he'd done a good job.  i stayed with him that way as his body shut down and he found his way beyond.  he died a little after midnight.
this morning i buried him in the orchard garden next to my little meditation hut where he liked to sunbathe and nap sometimes.  staal said some beautiful words for him. 
the grief is coming in waves.  i don't feel what i've said here honors him as well as i'd like and maybe when i'm less raw i'll be able to do a better job of it.

tiny but fierce...giving me a good chomp 2005

i love you, billy mew.  you are forever a part of me.