cats

jack and billy would have been fifteen years old yesterday.  i miss them.  a lot.  they changed my life and saved my life on more than one occasion.  they'll always be with me.

i was looking through the pictures i have of them, trying to find something nice of the two of them together that i haven't already posted.  this one (below) struck me for the feeling it stirred.  not a great photograph but just a snapshot that seems to capture the fleeting beauty of our time together on this plane.

losing billy and jack made last year a difficult one for me.  and, if i'm honest with myself, i'm still grieving.  i didn't think i wanted another cat but that turned out not to matter.  when benji came to me i knew i could care for him, i could give him a safe and comfortable life, but i wasn't sure i could love him.  even after months caring for him i found it difficult to bond with him in any meaningful way.  and then, little by little, i found myself falling in love with him.  we celebrated benji's first birthday on july 29th.

there's a lot of cat packed into that furry little body.  there's something deeply wild in him but there's also a domestic aspect to his character that shows itself more and more as he matures, a willingness/need to bond with his human (and canine) companions.  he is intelligent and interesting and loving and i am (we are) so happy he is here.

happy birthday, boys, i love you.